Eek. I really am having a day of it.

It's a bad idea to try removing a cup of relaxing hot chocolate from the vending machine before it's finished pouring. It rapidly becomes less relaxing and more pain inducing! Follow that up with walking into the door forgetting that it's not one of the automatic ones and spilling what was left of said drink onto the floor.

I think I should just sit very still at my desk for the next 3 hours and avoid doing anymore dumb things.

Just like I'm trying to avoid answering the phones that keep ringing ;-)

Do you ever get one of those days where you do silly things?

Mine today involved me kneeling on my chair, trying to keep my feet warm by sitting on them. Only I failed. Instead I ended up with my chair flying backwards away from my desk and ended up falling head first onto my desk with a resounding thud. From this great position of me headfirst on the desk, butt in the air, the chair moves even further away from my desk, possible due to my giggling. And I end up falling to the floor. Yet another thud followed by more giggling and embarrasment.

Add to that the hair measuring involving a piece of string and a ruler, and it's no wonder I get funny looks in the office.

Anyway, back to work for me :)

Hiya

And welcome to my blog. I've not written a blog for months now. Well, it’s about time I flexed these old fingers and got back on the keyboard. So here it is…. hope it’s been worth the wait ;-)

As it says in the title, something old, something new…. the old is a post from my old MSN blog which some of my friends might remember.

Something Old….

28 September 2005 00:44 My first blog

Well, here it is... my first blog.

Well. My life has had it's ups and downs recently... and probably more downs thans ups.. far more downs than I could have coped with, had it not have been for all my friends, so thank you guys, I love you all, .... thanks for keeping me breathing.

I'm single again and not looking to change that. I don't think I could cope with anymore heartache.

I have 3 days left to sort through my life and pack it into a 50 square foot storage room. I'm having to face unopened boxes of things from years ago full of memories I'd sooner have forgotten and tucked away messages from a vindictive ex of over 5 years ago.

I've also been looking for a place to live and a new job... which is difficult. I don't know how I'm going to cope with going from living in my own 2 bedroom place to having a room in a shared house/flat with people I don't even know. Kind of feels like a huge step backwards in my life.

But I will be strong, I've survived so far

28 September 2005 06:59 Gah

Gah... yeah, the mornings hurt. The first few minutes after waking up are just nasty and I just want to hide under the covers and wish the world away. I know that I get better as the day goes on... it's just getting there.

Gods, I hate starting the day feeling so sad. It turns it into a battle for the rest of the day.

Well, I've got to get to work

28 September 2005 17:57 my mistake

okay, my mistake... the day didn't get any easier as it went on... the feeling I woke up with has stayed with me all day. Oh how I wish it would go away. I've tried submersing myself in work, but it doesn't help... it's still there eating away at me.

I try not to let my mind wander too much, I need to stay focused and somehow re-anchor myself. I've cast myself adrift with nothing to hold on to. If it's one thing I've learned from all this though it's that I give too much of myself to others and far to easily. I will always do what is best for other people no matter the cost to myself. Well that stops here. *out comes the barbed wire and land mines*

Something new…..

And now for something completely different…..

Okay, so as you can see from the old posts, I had a bit of a difficult time last year. From September through to late December, that’s how my life was. I went through stages of feeling so bad I felt like nothing could stop me from ending my life. Pain ripped through my soul during my every waking hour. But as mentioned in my first blog, a HUGE thank you goes to all my friends that kept me breathing. I’m so very grateful for all the support you gave me.

*BIG hugs all round*

I’m so very grateful to be breathing still.

My life has changed rather a lot since then. Starting with moving into a new home in January (having spent some time living in the Big Sleep Hotel – that was odd, to say the least).

 

As you may, or may not know (depending on how fast the news spreads) the new home is the dwelling place of myself, the love-of-my-life J and a rather cute budgie… though I’ve heard him called some not-so-cute words, not to mention the words he uses ;-)

 

I don’t have anymore cats… Thomas was the last cat I had and he died at a ripe old age while I was living at my mums. Still, he had a good life. I miss him though. This is the first time in my life that I’ve been without a cat beside me. It feels strange sometimes, but I think I’m starting to get used to it. I’m certainly enjoying not having to worry about getting cat hairs all over my clothes ;-)

 

Some of you will remember I’ve had a lot of problems with my health over the years…. Well, my ignoring the doctors got me burned. I think I’ll learn from this and not treat myself like I’m invincible. I am human after all ;-) Anyway, I ended up with a little stay in hospital for my troubles and a lot of time off of work. Three months later and I’m almost back to working my full hours and my health is returning, little by little. I’ve had a lot of help with this, which I’m ever grateful for. Thank you.

 

I can say with ease, that I’m the happiest now that I can ever remember. Even when it’s tipping down with rain, it still feels like the sun is shining on me. I’m a very lucky woman.

 

In more recent news, I took J to puzzle wood at the weekend with the aid of the fantastic Sarah. I had a great time out. I love getting in the car with Sarah and going for a drive…. Usually we’re never 100% sure where we’ll end up, we just go and see where our fancy takes us. In this case we ended up going to the Roman ruins at Caerleon on the way home. Just a slight 20 mile detour, that’s not too bad for us ;-)

 

I found walking round puzzle wood a bit of a challenge since my leg isn’t as good as it used to be. But it was worth it. I relaxed lots there, to the point of having to be dragged away from the place before I fell asleep under the Yew trees (it wouldn’t have been the first time that happened there).

 

Right, I’ve flexed my fingers and I’m starting to get sleepy, so it’s time to end this post.

 

Seeya next time for another instalment of the life of Rhapsadoodle hugmonster ;-)

 

Peace out

x